Eliminate the excuses, I’ve tried them all, they’re wrong.

• “I just don’t have the time”
• “I would but I get my workout at work”
•  ”Since I don’t have the time to do it every day, I might as well not even start”
• “That program was too intense”, “I get too sore”
• “Healthy? I’m healthy enough.”

I’ve heard them all, in fact I’ve said them all at some point in my life. But each one is invalid in it’s own way.

In this forum I have stated time and time again that if we don’t portray a person who is making an effort to be “healthier” than we cannot be disappointed when our overweight children develop sickness because their workout is based on a battery powered handheld electronic device. We are the key to our children being healthy. Period. To ensure better tomorrows for our children we must work on getting healthy ourselves today.  So lets answer all of these excuses listed above with logical answers.

Not having the time: Believe me, I know this one. Most of the year I start work between 7:30 and 8 every morning,  I work until 2:15 when I go pick up my sons from school. I return to work at 5 and work until about 9 every night.  A good chunk of the year I travel on weekends to competitions or business functions.  ”I don’t have the time” would be easy to say. But I get up at about  6 am to get a run in. I try to play with my boys, weather permitting, between morning work and evening work.  At night, I exercise the dogs before turning in. 30 minutes here, 20 minutes there and I have a workout.  It is suggested that adults try to get a minimum of 20 minutes per day and even that seems like an overwhelming amount. But it’s per day not per workout. Could a 10 minute walk in the morning to wake up and clear your mind be added to a noon time stretch or exercise break, added to a dog walk in the evening to make up 20 minutes? Of course it could and quite easily. Often people think that intensity training is essential because it condenses time. If I could walk 30 minutes, run 20, or sprint 6 minutes, I would choose 6 minutes because I’m a busy guy.  But there is a trade off: Comfort.  Don’t overdo it.  Remember the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. You can accomplish anything in small bites.

I get my workout at work: Unless you are a professional athlete, you do not.  Most of us spend our work days sitting and being inactive. We fool ourselves into thinking that mental activity is equal to physical, or that stressing at work is just like working out. In fact there is a lot of research that shows that excessive work stress makes us less productive and moves us away from “healthier” and toward “dis-ease”. If we equate stress with physical activity, we are fooling ourselves. We may be fooling ourselves to death.

Since I don’t have the time to do it every day, I might as well not even start: Nope, too easy. We all have to start someplace and if 10 minutes here and there isn’t an option, then 5 minutes is. Get what you can get when you can get it. Eventually the natural benefits of how you feel and how your days go will become evident and you will be looking to add time.

That program was too intense, I get too sore: This is a real concern. Many people jump into an effort to get healthier by joining a class at a local health club. Often the class is at a level that they could have maintained a few years back but it kicks their butt now. Or they think that a walk should be a speed event and to the corner and back isn’t an option, they set out to cross the town or go a greater distance. When they feel sore, they get negatively reinforced and quit. Take the pride out of the equation. Start small. The corner and back at a leisurely pace is perfect for starting out. Enjoy the scenes of an early morning walk, the sounds of birds, or the rising of the sun. Don’t be so focused on making good time just yet.  When our activity is enjoyable we tend to repeat it and start the pattern of behavior that we were after. When it’s not enjoyable, the opposite is true.

Healthy? I’m healthy enough: No you’re not.

Remember that our health and making good decisions about our health are not only investments in ourselves but investments in our children’s futures.  It’s not enough to get up and move; it’s also essential that you share the stories. Talk about your walk, take your kids with you. Talk about how you feel so much better after a workout, or how that guy at work who is constantly sick is hardly ever seen being active. It’s a war of attrition, and we must gain ground strategically to guarantee our children a healthy life. Your children will pick up the clues and make better decisions for themselves.   Step 1: get away from the computer and go outside to play. Easy war to win with strategy that simple, huh? Now stop making excuses and go. I’m talking to you…go on.

The day I met Picasso, a true story.

This is a long post, but I realized that I never wrote about it before. I swear that it’s true, though the quotes may be fudged a bit.

We were in San Jose California. Me, my co-coach Matt and a friend named Jim who, at the time, was going to open his own gym. We were at a big gymnastics conference tied to a big national gymnastics meet. It was late, after the competition finished and we were looking for a place to eat. None of us knew San Jose and so we found ourselves walking around looking for an open place.

Now I’m not a big believer in coincidences. I think somehow the universe knows what we want or need and gives us little nudges to figure it out. There we were, 3 tired coaches walking down the street when a young lady ahead of us calls out “You guys looking for a place to eat?” We listened as she gave her advise and didn’t think twice about it being unsolicited. We showed up at Picasso’s; a bar and grill that was closing up and finishing a noisy party in the other side of the restaurant area.  The tables looked like they were put up for the night, but the bartender, an older guy with white hair and European features told us to come in because the kitchen was still open “for us.” Still having no clue that it all seemed a set-up we  took up seats at the bar. We didn’t even get to look at the menu yet when Picasso, as he’s come to be called in the retelling of this story, started with the questions: “where are you guys from? What do you do? Are you here for the competition? When do you go home? It all seemed innocent enough.  We ordered and as we waited for our food, the bartender returned: He looked right at Jim and without so much as an introduction to the lecture, he started in “You know even when it seems like a hopeless effort ya gotta do the right thing.  If your principles are based on goodness and doing a good thing, then nothing can stop you. All the things that seem insurmountable will fall away in the end and you will see what you created rise above everything else. Your creation will be good if it’s based in goodness. Do you understand?” Jim nodded  as Picasso continued “You keep working at it and eventually it will materialize for you, just as you dreamed it, because working on them, is the only way dreams will come true. “ His eyes flashed to Matt and I but his focus was clearly on Jim.  “Even though you may not feel like all of your work is producing anything it will  show in time. But you gotta have a reason for doing something,   You must identify, without any doubt, the specific reason you do the work you do.  Success can only occur when there is a target and a reason to hit it.”  With that Picasso turned and walked into the kitchen. Jim’s wide gaze turned toward us and he kind of smiled but was a little dumbfounded. As a skeptic, I can say that everything he was saying could be applied to a coach training athletes as well as an entrepreneur starting a business.  So we didn’t really let it sink in, more like we let it float on the surface for further viewing. We talked about how he was right and how the wisdom of bartenders has always been legendary. It was so out of place that it seemed funny.

Picasso comes back with the appetizer we ordered. We were talking  about his advice among ourselves and how we should share it with athletes since all 3 of us are believers in helping children develop a vision and goal for gymnastics and that doing so is the only way for them to be motivated enough to work as hard as they need to succeed.

Since we were having a conversation, no one acknowledged Picasso as he placed down the plate of appetizers, I may have muttered out “thanks”. He stood almost like he was waiting for us to try the appetizer. Matt, being younger, bold enough and maybe even bordering on cocky, asked Picasso if he had any advice for him. At the time Matt was working as a free-lance software programmer who coached on the side. He had aspirations of starting a software company but wasn’t sure how to go about it. Picasso couldn’t know that though, we had just walked off the street. He looks to Matt, the way an adult looks when talking to a child:  “A roadblock is only a roadblock if you don’t know about it.  If you know about it, it’s just a challenge.  Once you see the roadblocks, and you define them as challenges then the solutions become evident. Each challenge, each solution is an opportunity to get something done, to become something new.  You’re the only guy who knows where you are, what challenges are around you and what tools you have to dispatch them, You’re in a pretty good spot to move ahead, but you have to remember that the hardest challenges produce the most change. You have what it takes right now, don’t you?  You know what you must do and you know why.  Remember, you could never make a bigger mistake than sitting back and doing nothing simply because you feel you can only do a little.  The best thing about being a big success is what you learned as you got there one step at a time.  Every positive step forward puts you in position to take the next  one, and eventually you find yourself where you want to be.  It’s not the mountain top my friend, it’s the road that led there that you will get the most from.”  Watching and listening to Picasso talk directly to Matt was  like watching a man unbelievably asking  to be punched in the belly and then being shocked when he gets his request.  I looked at Matt who was silent and he and Jim both had their eyes open a little wider than usual like they just saw ghosts. I think looking back, that this is when we realized that it was so odd and  that the advise was exactly what these guys needed to hear. It was starting to feel other worldly, and honestly I was a little uneasy.  Would he address me, or was I just there to witness?

At the time, Gymfinity was about 4 years old. I was struggling with how I could buy my business partner out and make it an amiable end to our professional relationship. Gymfinity was my job but I dreamed of making it my own business. I was anxious to get the transaction done but scared that maybe my wife and I were not ready to be the sole owners. It was a lot to carry around. Without missing a beat, Picasso grabs my water and fills it from the beverage gun and then, apparently, it’s my turn. He looked right at me, “Keep in your mind the progress you’ve made. Every day there is another problem solved, another gray spot that becomes clear and another step in the right direction.  Don’t think of yesterday’s failures, but think of the success that is possible today and the opportunity for tomorrow. You should be proud of yourself.  You may not be  where you want to be yet, but you’re making progress.  Step by step right?” He shoots a glance to Matt who is nodding emphatically, because Matt knew my worries but has always been the kind of friend that believes in you more than you believe in yourself. I kept waiting for Matt to shout “Amen!” But Picasso continued, “It doesn’t matter how  slow you go as long as you don’t give up.  Everyone’s life is a series of ups and downs.  Those fleeting highs and lows occur on a daily basis and  are tiny threads in the overall fabric of your life, but each one is essential to the strength of the cloth, right? How you react and act to those ups and downs is up to you, so  the quality of your life, the strength of your fabric is ultimately your choice.” I can’t remember if I even ate the appetizer, I just remember my hand on the water-glass, I know that when he finished talking that I was looking at the glass for, it seemed, forever. The words he gave us were no longer floating on the surface, they sank in.

When I returned to consciousness, it seemed like I was gone inside my head for a while, I saw the dinners were placed in front of us. We weren’t talking anymore.  We, pretty much, ate in silence and finished the meal.

As we dealt with the girl who came to take our payment, Picasso took up our plates and walked toward the kitchen. All three of us thanked him as he walked into the kitchen. As he backed out of the bar area, he said good night by telling us “ Guys when you find something that makes you happy, not everyone will be happy for you.  When you show  kindness to others, some people will question your motives.  When you are honest to the core, some folks will attempt to use your honesty against you.  Don’t let any of these people stop you from doing your thing.  These people don’t matter.  In the end, what does matter is how you feel about yourself and the life you have led.  You have to ask yourself one question: “Am I proud of how I lived?”  Make your answer: Yes.” With that he was gone, and the cashier was just smiling at us like she had seen the overwhelmed look we must have had before.

Since then, Jim has opened his gymnastics gym and is experiencing great success. Matt has started several companies that he developed into great businesses and has been approached by investors who see him as a fresh force in programming. I returned to buy Gymfinity outright, we also bought the  building and the land and that was 10 years ago.  We never learned Picasso’s real name, he was probably pushing 70 at that time and would likely now be in his 80′s. He may still work there. The  internet shows that there is new ownership though the name is still the same.  On the website they state “Our mission is to make ever customer’s experience at Picasso’s one to remember for ever”.  Mission accomplished.

Dreaming is not a waste of time

I remember the cartoon we had on our refrigerator when I was a kid. It was of two archaeologists with pith helmets and all looking at a little nub sticking out of the ground in a desert scene. The one archaeologist walking away says over his shoulder to the other “yeah, it’s probably nuthin.” But in a cut away below the ground we see a huge skeleton of a dinosaur: a skeleton that will never be found, at least not by these guys. I learned from it that the things we can see are usually only a small fraction of what is real or what is possible.

I have always been a believer that our job is to get our athletes to 1. See their potential, 2. Reach for their potential and 3. Surpass their potential, and I have always understood that every child, every athlete, is different. If children can first identify what they are capable of and then work toward attaining and besting it, we have succeeded.

The struggle, as I see it, has two faces. The first is that parents want their children to have smooth and easy lives. They make decisions for their kids, do the work for them, and try to level the hilly paths that sometimes make life difficult. They fear that the uphill sections of the road of life may be too overwhelming and they work to make it all flat. They don’t see that  flattening lowers both sides of the hill , the uphill struggles and the downhill coasts that make life fun and thrilling. These children have no chance to struggle but also have no opportunity to fly. They never learn to problem solve, work to get ahead or to envision what earned success can feel like. It’s a disservice we give our children.

The other side of it is that children on their own don’t dream enough. Kids need to think of things that are fantastic and ridiculous and we should encourage it (ask me about my son’s “heated surgical glove idea). Children come up with wonderful ideas and adults shoot them down. We tell them that it won’t work, or someone has already done that. But we should be leaving the door open to creativity. We need to show them that “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known, you just have to dream big enough to discover it.”  If we let children dream they will create a vision of tomorrow that, with a little effort could be something that changes the world, even more than heated gloves (if that’s possible).

As I said, my job at Gymfinity, as a coach is the same job as teachers in schools and parents in homes: to help children to define the potential, reach their potential and pass their potential. That is after all how growth happens. The part I want to point out is that we need to allow them input on the definition of their capabilities. I have had many gymnasts come in and feel that they have the potential to go to the Olympics. What’s wrong with that? Maybe as time goes on each has redefined their goals and aspirations but if even for a short time, why can’t they be headed toward the Olympic games?  After all imagination is having the vision to see what is just below the surface – to picture that which is possible, but invisible to the eye.  Isn’t that what being a kid is all about?

 

Debunking reasons kids in day cares don’t get exercise

We know that there is an epidemic of inactivity in America when it comes to children. That didn’t start as recently as when electronics began occupying children’s time. In fact it has been a trend for many years and is leading up to the perfect storm of increased obesity, increased sickness and lowering academic skill. Now we are starting to pay attention. We see what effect this will have over time as it gets worse.

A study in Ohio by Dr. Kristen Copeland, a pediatrician in Cincinnati shows us that 75% of preschoolers spend most of their day indoors and not moving around. Many were active for only about 2-3% of their day. “Children develop mastery of gross motor skills — climbing, throwing and catching ball, skipping and learning to control their body — on their own at an early age, and these skills aren’t taught in school,” says Copeland. “And children who are most comfortable with these skills show more self confidence and have better peer relationships than children who don’t.” But we know this, so why are they not getting active?

Dr. Copeland’s study found that mainly 3 factors were influencing centers to reduce or eliminate outdoor activity. Let’s look at them individually

Reason # 1: Financial constraints  It is true that many centers struggle to provide appropriate equipment. I know, after pricing some items, that learning tools are very expensive. I understand this issue but I also feel that to receive accreditation a school or center should have to prove that they have the resources to play inside and outside. And if there is truly a need I believe that any parent would be happy to donate money for equipment or donate time to dig a sandbox or create a play structure. And if parents won’t do it, there are foundations who will. In fact as a business that focuses on children we have donated to schools and centers to the tune of well over $10,000 over our short lifespan (we opened in 1999). I know that other businesses would be happy to help schools and centers. So, reason # 1: DEBUNKED.

Reason # 2: Parent’s concern about injury or threat of legal action: I have written on this before. Parents need to “mellow out”. So much is learned from a skinned knee, yet I know that it’s not the skinned knee that they worry about, it’s the broken neck or worse; and yes those are realistic concerns. But if children are wrapped in bubble wrap they cannot experience life and they become dysfunctional.  And as for the center being worried about lawsuits: I am in a business that can be destroyed by such an assault. But we do what we do the best that we can. We train staff, develop systems that maximize safety and minimize risk. But after it’s all said and done, we still have to do what we do, risk and all because it’s what we believe in. If you run your business based on fear then you forget to do what you specialize in; teaching children and giving them opportunity to grow up healthy. Reason # 2: DEBUNKED.

Reason # 3: Parents wanting emphasis on academics over activities. Oh here we go. There are so many studies that show that the brain absorbs more and better when it’s encased in a healthy and active body that I can’t believe that people still don’t get it. Maybe teachers and administrators have to start shouting it for more mountaintops. It is after all, the reason German educators introduced the idea of recess over 500 years ago. They knew that activity breaks and fresh air would increase academic learning. Anyone want to argue that German engineering came about by luck?  Also it is much easier to get a young child to appreciate activity and get them to develop healthy habits than it is to get a fat teen off the couch and try to convince them that it’s good for them. The daycare where my children went use the time outdoors to teach left brain skills like measuring distance, time, nature facts, weather watching and more. They learn right brain skills like building, creating, drawing, space relationships and appreciation of weather and nature. Not to mention reinforcing social learning like sharing, caring, giving, empathy and conversational skills. So Reason # 3: DEBUNKED! BIG Time.

“Children are naturally active”, says Copeland, “they love to play, and to play vigorously, if given the time and place and freedom to run, they will do that. But children at this age are entirely dependent on caregivers for the opportunity to be active.”  We need to be realistic in what we ask of our schools and centers: we cannot simultaneously demand less play and less risk while complaining about declining health and crashing intellect.

The future of our health…..maybe

Lets look to the future. I’m not talking SciFi flying car and perosnal jet packs: I’m talking in 8 years. That’s 2 more Olympics, 2 more Presidentail Elections, when my kids will be 12 and 16. Not too far away.

Here is what is projected. Based on a study (National Health and Nutrition Examination Surveys (NHANES)) done marking trends in health outcomes between 1988 and 2008 and we can expect that 83% of men and 72% of women will be overweight or obese. (compared to 72 and 63 receptively right now).  The study which represents averages for Americans generalizes over factors like regions, incomes, education and other divisions but is inclusive of the whole country.  It also tells us that we could look forward to 77% of men and 53% of women having either diabetes or pre-diabetes (compared to 62 and 43% respectively right now).

That’s pretty shocking and more than a little depressing. But like Scrooge on Christmas morning having been shown the grim future from the third ghost, we have time to make a few changes and escape the terrible future the ghost has projected. But will we?

Get up and move, it’s not too late. Show your kids that you are not willing to accept “being sick” when in fact the “sickness” is a decision to be sick. We can control our own health and future if we decide to take the initiative. The future IS in our hands. However, since I am asking to amend the possible future I do hope we can still come up with personal jet packs. How cool would that be to have a jet pack but have the option to walk and run too.

Mr. Williams vs. that other guy

Scene: Carleton Elementary school, Milwaukee,  Mr. Williams’ gym class:. We did stuff that I hated, we had to dance to Frankie Valli’s “You’re just to good to be true”. Oh I hated that. But at other times we did things I liked; basketball, football, racket skills, games, and as you could imagine, I loved tumbling and gymnastics. Mr Williams was cool. He played with us as he showed us how to play. He was probably one of my favorite teachers, ever. I was not a great athlete, in fact I was usually the last kid picked for teams for playground ball. I was timid and shy (really) and not too outgoing. Mr. Williams asked me if I would be willing to demonstrate tumbling for the class in the upcoming unit because I was good at it. In doing so he made me believe that I was, in fact, good at it. I was so proud of myself, I felt like someone I admired just told me I was cool. I remember that day now and it still makes me feel good.

Scene: John Burroughs Junior High school, gym class with….can’t remember the teacher’s name. I do however, remember that we did more sports and less games. I remember him having me demonstrate tumbling too, but more than that, I remember him having a padded rubber wand that he would smack against things. Most often it was used to bang a locker to get our attention, but I remember seeing a boy get it across the back of his legs when he was getting lippy with the teacher. I don’t remember the teacher’s name, but I remember that wand and the noise it made as it hit a locker.

I don’t think that my middle school gym teacher really got it. He wasn’t memorable for being motivating, or even for being a good teacher. He is remembered for being hard-core and scary. There was a rumor that he made a kid swallow a penny once. I think that guy was responsible for more kids giving up on “gym” then kids getting into sports. So when he asked me to help with the demonstration I agreed but I didn’t feel much. I just did it.

Teachers and role models need to inspire children not scare them into compliance.  I was in grade school 35 years ago and I still can be motivated when I think of Mr. Williams classes. That guy made me want to be a gymnast, made me want to be a coach and a teacher. That is inspiration. He knew that I was not an adept ball player or even a notable in playing games. But I picture him sitting in his equipment cage of an office and devising a way to make this adequately  athletic kid blossom.  It worked because 35 years later it’s still working. That is inspiration.

When it comes to activity and exercise the incentive should be to feel good about what you are doing. When we are happy we repeat what we did to feel that way. Our motivation in anything can only come from within. Jeff Metzger, a business mentor and friend has an adage that says that you cannot ever motivate a person, but you can create a setting where motivation develops. I think in getting our children to embrace activity and good health practice we need to create a climate or setting where motivation can happen. We need to provide rewards for achievement but we need to equally reward perseverance and we need to compliment effort.  We need to help kids make decisions about what they do. We need to explain possible outcomes and potentials and then create a scene where the kids are validated. It’s easy to yell and bang a locker to get kids to listen but that is not a real motivational setting. The thinking gym teacher in his office/cage is a motivating setting. When we see children as people, and present them with opportunities for success and happiness we will inspire them, and we all have it in us to be inspiring.

 

Side note, when I graduated college one of my degrees was in physical education. I was an All American NCAA gymnast and had assistant coached the National Champion NCGA women’s gymnastics team to a title. I called Carleton Elementary and got in touch with the soon retiring Mr. Williams. I volunteered to come in and co-teach a class in gymnastics with him. Unfortunately they had just finished the unit and I missed the boat. But I got to speak with Mr. Williams (he asked me to call him Craig) and he recalled, without prompting, how I hated that Frankie Valli Dance unit. I remember thinking that either he had an incredible memory or I must have made a real impression 15 years earlier with my dislike of Frankie Valli.  Mr. Williams retired that next year and I don’t know where he is today or what he is doing. But talking with him made me feel so grown up and made me feel like I had made good choices and followed the right dreams. We talked for quite a while and at the end of our phone time he told me he was proud of me. That same feeling of being asked to show tumbling in his class returned. That is inspiration. 

 

The Valentines hub-bub should be about one thing

As I am sure you have surmised, I am not a big “Holiday” person. I’m the cynical kind of  guy who calls Valentines day a “Hallmark holiday”. But in fact it is a church sanctioned celebration of some Saint Valentine. I say “some” because there are actually accounts of several Valentines in church history and all of them were martyred but details on any one of them are fuzzy. There is actually one legend that says a “Valentine” fell in love with is jailer’s daughter and sent her a note proclaiming his love and signed it “from your Valentine.” Awwww.

Relationships are like so many things are different for each individual. Personally I think that every person  we meet has the potential to develop into a relationship. They say that everyone we meet has a purpose: some will test you, some will teach you, some will use you, some will bring out your best and others may bring out your worst. But they all bring something to the table. If every person could be a relationship then we need to treat each person as having a value. I’m not saying that all relationships are made of love. I have had relationships of great mutual disdain and I still consider it a relationship and value it as teaching me many different things about myself. For that I am grateful.

So this weird holiday comes upon us each year and we are told that we need to provide flowers or chocolates. But some folks don’t go in for those things so we substitute other gifts  of “love”. My wife is not big on chocolates (when I get her chocolates, I usually end up eating them, so I guess that really is a pretty good gift idea for her then) so now what? New running shoes? Oooh romance.

I guess there are many types of love. Maybe “loving your shoes” counts for something. I do love my own, maybe I should get them something nice. (Chocolate?)

I believe that a good relationship; whether it’s a friend, a loved one, a pet or a shoe is all about 1 thing: Time. When we give someone our time, we give them a portion of our life. My mother used to say There are only 2 things that you can truly give another person: your promise and your time. I see her wisdom now more than ever. If we truly love something we give it our life, we don’t spend money on candy or flowers, we spend minutes with loved ones or we do something for them.

So if I may be so bold as to advise: this year, forgo the flowers, the gifts or the candy for your family. Instead do something together where you have to actually interact (that rules out going to a movie). Spend time with them; appreciate the similarities you have together and respect the differences between you. Share time because after all, that is what love is all about.

So Happy Valentine’s day, from your Valentine …………Awwww