The Valentines hub-bub should be about one thing

As I am sure you have surmised, I am not a big “Holiday” person. I’m the cynical kind of  guy who calls Valentines day a “Hallmark holiday”. But in fact it is a church sanctioned celebration of some Saint Valentine. I say “some” because there are actually accounts of several Valentines in church history and all of them were martyred but details on any one of them are fuzzy. There is actually one legend that says a “Valentine” fell in love with is jailer’s daughter and sent her a note proclaiming his love and signed it “from your Valentine.” Awwww.

Relationships are like so many things are different for each individual. Personally I think that every person  we meet has the potential to develop into a relationship. They say that everyone we meet has a purpose: some will test you, some will teach you, some will use you, some will bring out your best and others may bring out your worst. But they all bring something to the table. If every person could be a relationship then we need to treat each person as having a value. I’m not saying that all relationships are made of love. I have had relationships of great mutual disdain and I still consider it a relationship and value it as teaching me many different things about myself. For that I am grateful.

So this weird holiday comes upon us each year and we are told that we need to provide flowers or chocolates. But some folks don’t go in for those things so we substitute other gifts  of “love”. My wife is not big on chocolates (when I get her chocolates, I usually end up eating them, so I guess that really is a pretty good gift idea for her then) so now what? New running shoes? Oooh romance.

I guess there are many types of love. Maybe “loving your shoes” counts for something. I do love my own, maybe I should get them something nice. (Chocolate?)

I believe that a good relationship; whether it’s a friend, a loved one, a pet or a shoe is all about 1 thing: Time. When we give someone our time, we give them a portion of our life. My mother used to say There are only 2 things that you can truly give another person: your promise and your time. I see her wisdom now more than ever. If we truly love something we give it our life, we don’t spend money on candy or flowers, we spend minutes with loved ones or we do something for them.

So if I may be so bold as to advise: this year, forgo the flowers, the gifts or the candy for your family. Instead do something together where you have to actually interact (that rules out going to a movie). Spend time with them; appreciate the similarities you have together and respect the differences between you. Share time because after all, that is what love is all about.

So Happy Valentine’s day, from your Valentine …………Awwww


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