Archive for the 'Teaching' Category

20
Sep
17

Why we shouldn’t focus on Success

I have a very different definition of success. I have always believed in the oft quoted “Shoot first, what you hit, call the target” philosophy. As a coach, I have guided many athletes to great success by my definition and as defined by other people as well. I have always believed that if we focus on success, rather than growth, we often lose the biggest benefits from trying to do anything at all. Here are 5 things that we tend to lose when all we focus on is success as defined in a traditional way.

Setting goals and success

Ancient Wisdom

You limit Discovery

When we follow the laser focus of working to achieve a specific goal we will often lose sight of the many opportunities along the way. I drove to Illinois yesterday and ended up stopping at a great roadside market. If I would have only been focused on my destination, I would have missed some of the best sweet corn I have ever had. Not to equate striving for our goals with shopping for produce, but it illustrates the odd and interesting things we can find on our path to success.

You limit your ability to Grow

If we are only focused on one outcome we lose the opportunity to learn as we go. We need to embrace our shortcomings, our failures, and mistakes. By doing so we learn to adapt and we learn to overcome future mistakes by developing resiliency. Striving for our goals is a long-term commitment; persistence, resiliency, quick thinking, and wisdom are natural byproducts of the process if we commit to the long term effort and stay open to the process.

You fall into Black & White Thinking

When we are solely focused on a successful outcome we are quick to label those errors, misjudgments and mistakes as failures. If we do not achieve our stated goal then everything else seems to be a failure. There is nothing more untrue. We cannot, in any effort, be so short-sited that we only see black and white. The world is made up of shades of gray and there is not only much to be learned in the gray areas, but there is a lot of happiness in them as well.

You will have a hard time finding Happiness

“Shoot for the moon, that way, even if you miss, you are among the stars.” We’ve heard this thousands of times and seen it on bumper stickers and tee-shirts. I apologize for bringing out this old chestnut, but there is a lot of value in it. The notion that our moonshot is only valuable if we reach the moon devalues our position in the stars. I have had athletes set goals to win national accolades and, some do and some don’t. Those that don’t have to often be reminded that they attained much more in the effort than they would have if their goals were limited only to regional or statewide success. It’s the process, as I mentioned above, that gives value to the result. If any of these athletes would have considered themselves as failures, then all the effort, all the work, would have been in vain.

You miss the opportunity to be Grateful

My mom used to say Don’t be sad about the rainy days, without them  you wouldn’t appreciate the sunny ones. There is so much wisdom in that statement. We need to embrace our struggles and the hard work we put in to be truly grateful for our results; whatever they may be. Also, persisting through hard times gives us opportunity to identify the people who stand by us. The ones who lend a shoulder in effort or a shoulder to cry on. It’s the process, the effort, that helps us see our true team mates and friends.  All of this is so worthy of acknowledgment. I believe that, though It’s hard sometimes, we need to really look for the things in life where we can express gratitude.

In our society, especially in sports, we are led to believe that we must “win”, that “there is no room for second place”, that we must “win at all costs” and so on. This thinking is outdated and detrimental.

I don’t think we need to celebrate losing, or glorify failure either, but I do think we need to be open to the possibilities and options we develop during our efforts. I never believed that every child should get a trophy and I do believe that there is something valuable in explaining to a child that 7th place is reflective of a single performance, of their effort, of their current situation, and of the effort of others. What could a child learn from that explanation of the results? Sometimes an athlete not winning can bring more in the long run than if they would have taken home the trophy. Agree?

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06
Sep
17

A Letter To My Coach: Mickey

Hey Mick

I just wanted to shoot you a note that says Thanks.

You’ll never believe where I am. I am writing to you from my office at my own gym. I opened it in 1999, I think you were coaching in California then. It has grown each year and in 2014 we even expanded the building. I get to coach the most wonderful kids I have ever seen. We do great gymnastics but, even better, we help them grow up into great people. I owe a lot of that to you.

When you were my coach, you helped me to see that Tumbling and Floor Exercise was truly the best event, must be, as gymnasts we both specialized in it. I learned that all skills are basically born of the floor, tumbling skills are foundational for beam, vault and even bars. I learned so much about the sport from you. I have been fortunate enough to have had many great mentors as a technical coach, My brother Harold, Leonard Isaacs, Eugene Shanderay, Doug Davis, Mel Leinwander, Gary Aspinlitner, and even from young guys like Matt Lea. But You Mick, you were the guy who taught me the most.

I remember you telling me that a gymnast is a leader; in school, on their own team, and in life. Gymnasts, you said, set the bar for other athletes. You always made me feel like I was special, like a 6 foot tall kid who somehow was outstanding among a world of shorter, stronger, more organically talented athletes. I felt like I had a gift. I felt like I had opportunities that other kids would never see. After my near fatal accident, you told me that I got to have a choice that others didn’t. I could retire satisfied knowing I did all I could with the frame and time I had, or I could fight my way back and be someone. I could be the guy that others talked about; the guy who didn’t let a broken neck slow him down. I could be the guy who trained twice as hard as everyone else to be able to, in the end, surpass everyone’s expectations. You made me want to be that guy.  I think today, as a coach, business man, and father, I still try to be that guy. That guy who works hard, never gives up, and eventually wins.

So wdownloadhy am I sending this note now? Well Mick, I was standing there today, coaching, and it dawned on me that I won. I have a great life. I’m married and have 2 sons, I own a gym, and as you know I dreamed of having my own gym since I was a kid. I work with the best people on the planet, my staff earns my respect every day. My team kids work harder and smarter than any gymnast’s I have ever known, and my team families, Mickey, you won’t believe it, they have the same vision I have. They know their kids are extraordinary and they value what we can do to help their kids exceed everyone’s expectations. I owe so much of my success to you Mick. You set me on this path and helped me develop the tools I needed to make it all real. You even told me once, when I had doubts about being a teacher, that I should be the teacher who teaches from the heart, not to worry about the books and the quizzes. Do you remember that?

Mickey, it’s been over 15 years since you died. It breaks my heart that I never got the chance to show you what you helped me become. I never got the chance to say thank you. I think about you all the time, and though you probably just remember me as a gawky gymnastics wanna be, just one of among the hundreds you coached, I will never forget you. I don’t think that in this life we understand that even momentary encounters can often change a person’s whole life. I know that coaching a young person who loves the sport in both head and heart can be the deciding factor on many of that kid’s life outcomes. I don’t underestimate the gifts that gymnastics gives. I saw it in my case with you and I see it in the young women I coach. When you offered wisdom and compassion it shaped my entire life.  I guess I just wanted you to know that.

I miss you Mick, even though you are with me every day.   J.

 

 

13
Jun
17

My addressing the graduating class of 2017.

Every year we get hit by “Graduation Season”. Kids leaving middle or high school and going on to college or, kids leaving college and stepping out into the big ol’ world. I have been to a few graduation ceremonies and I always think how encouraging it is to have such amazing speakers talking to these transitioning kids at the point where they are ready for their next chapter of life. One day”, I joke with my friends, some important school will call me to do the speech and they will give me a Honorary Degree, I’ll get to keep that weird floppy hat. But to-date no school has called so I have resigned to printing my speech here. Enjoy.

Congratulations on reaching a lifetime milestone. Your work from this point will not beJ Orkowski addresses class of 2017 harder or easier, just different, and likely more fun. In any case, always know that there are friends around you that will share the burdens and friends who will be there to help celebrate the victories. There is always someone who can guide you, advise you, and support you. Everyday and every way. Usually you call them Mom or Dad, but today I would like to be your adviser and offer you this advice.

As you move into this next phase of life there 10 quick but important bits of advice that will make your efforts easier if you understand them, or more difficult if you ignore them.

First ground rule: your life is made up of your own perceptions. How you choose to perceive the world is how the world is. If it seems like a constant battle, you have waged that war. If it seems like bliss, it is you that has calmed those raging seas. Your experience through life will be only as difficult as you want to make it. Choose to see things as controllable.

Next; life might seem to be broken and falling apart, but as a friend of mine says “Maybe life is falling together.” As I mentioned perception before, it is on you to see the world as under your control and direct the construction or destruction of all around you. You are stepping into a very powerful position because the future is dependent on what you make it. Trust that life will turn out as it is supposed to, it’s a process.

  1. Live your days enjoying the beauty and complexity of our world. Don’t waste your energy and time complaining about what could have, should have, or might have been. You have beautiful opportunities all around you, act on them, and live your adventure. Remember that only you can assign meaning to things. If they are important to you, care for them, nurture them and make them important to the world.

Next rule: you can handle more than you think that you are capable. People are asked how they made it through after suffering a mishap or set-back. And many reply that they just kept on living. Personal, financial, emotional, professional setbacks will happen and you will weather them and survive because you have strength that even you mom didn’t know you had.

  1. That being said; know that it is impossible to be angry and grateful at the same time. One cannot be appreciative and feel deep sorrow simultaneously. So look for things to be grateful for. Make it a habit to appreciate life as it happens for you.

Ground rule number 6: Be happy you are having problems. The only people who don’t have problems are the ones who don’t do anything. If you are having difficulties it is because you are living in forward motion. Your adventure will always have ups and downs. Appreciating the downs makes the ups just that more glorious.

  1. And again, know that your attitude should be based on how you want the world, how you want life, to be. Don’t set your attitude by what other have handed you. That only leads to being frustrated and unhappy. The way you grow from loss or defeat is to keep your attitude based on learning and progress. No one every grew from being stagnant and defeated.
  2. When other people feed you their opinions, allow them to feed your mind not starve your spirit. Learn from what people say, do, and feel. But speak your own words, think your own thoughts, and feel your own heart. You are what matters in your world to be sure, but know that giving of yourself will not only make your world a better place, but will change the life of so many others as well. Giving to others is an amazing feeling, selfishly set out to give yourself that joy as much as possible.
  3. Always do what is right by your own principles. Doing the right thing will give you strength and allow you to share your strength with others. Doing things, the easy way may make life smoother right now, but easy and right are often very different choices. Choose the long term right over the short-term simple.

And lastly, feel free to break a few rules, shoot the sacred cows, challenge traditions. The world needs new thinking, thinking from outside the box, from outside the comfort zone. Do not fear doing things differently. Everything that is done today was once thought surely insane years ago.

So there are 10 ground rules to move forward with healthy perspective and guarantee your own success:

  1. Choose to see life as controllable
  2. Trust that life will turn out as it’s supposed to, though it might need a few tweaks.
  3. If things are important to you, give them everything you have, love, nurture, and protect them with every part of your being.
  4. You can and will win at this game called life, even when you seem to be losing, remember that you have strength that even you mom didn’t know you had.
  5. Create the habit to appreciate life as it happens for you. Being appreciative allows us to enjoy every day.
  6. Problems just indicate that you are working your way to the top. People without problems are the ones happy to stay on the bottom.
  7. Keep your attitude positive. Other people can affect your life only as much as you allow them.
  8. Be advised by other people and things but think your own thoughts and be your own person. Develop a set of rules and principle that will never falter.
  9. Make decisions based on what is right for the longest time for the most people. Don’t decide to do it the easy way or the quickest way, that almost always turns out badly.
  10. And lastly, don’t be afraid to be different. The only people who have changed the world are the ones who refused to think like everyone else.

No go forth, go on to your next adventure, live you dream, build your world, and always remember that you will not adventure alone. Share your life with friends, family, and the world. Now show us all what you can do.

16
May
17

Things that make us live longer, or at least live easier.

I was visiting a friend and we were talking about ‘the good ol’ days. We got there because I was actually feeling a little under the weather and he advised me to take some cold medicine even if it’s not a full blown cold. I told him that I don’t take medicine and never really believed in it. I explained that in the  ‘good ol’ days” people didn’t take cold meds for sniffles and so neither will I. He answered “Yeah, but they also had half the life expectancy we do.” So I started thinking about all of the amazing advances that have been made just during my lifetime and how it was when I was younger.

My youngest son once asked me if there was electricity when I was a kid, (no that’s not funny), and I am not saying that life was so much harder when I was young, but yes we did have electricity and maybe it just seemed harder because we had to do more to make things happen. I don’t think that my kids, and I’ll speak just for me, really understand how nice things are now.

Portable Video Games

Don’t get me started on the old hand held football game that was just a collection of red

download (1)

I always wanted one of these. 

lights to represent payers on the field. That was back when I was in high school, so probably before all of you. But it wasn’t long ago that the Game Boy from Nintendo was the coolest invention around. Now those old Nintendo games pale in comparison to what a person has access to on their phone.

Streaming Movies

I got rid of my cable subscription at home because there was so much available online. If I think of a movie I can find it online and start watching it in about 2 minutes. When I was first on my own I thought I was such a big shot when I bought a VHS player. I rented movies like it was my job but sometimes the movie was terrible. Of course you watched it anyway because it took you 20 minutes to drive to Blockbuster and a half an hour to find an interesting movie that was in stock. After all that you better believe I would sit through even the worst selection, like Joe Vs. The Volcano. Ick.  Cleaning out the store room at the gym I came across a box of over 150 tapes of meets that were on TV; Olympics, Nationals, college meets, etc. I had to confront the reality that after saving them all for so long, I would never watch them again. Too much of a pain in the neck.

Pay Phones

I remember when there were only a few people who had mobile phones. The rest of us used pay phones. I saw a pay phone while I was travelling this year, and I thought “Oh, look at that, how cute.” But in reality, they were terrible, usually broken, and germ laden, not to mention always feeling like a pay phone was a typical murder scene in movies (that always freaked me out). Today we all have immediate access to a phone. Hands free, voice dialing, web access, with a built in camera. This is real science fiction stuff, or at least my mom’s generation never thought this would ever be a reality. Cell phones are probably one of the biggest advances in tech…. ever, and don’t even start me on the GPS features.

GPS

In high school, I took a map making class and we actually had a lesson on how to fold them. I remember driving on vacations and having to decipher the map while the wind blew in the windows of the car and my mom would be asking “right or left up here?” Now our phones or cars tell us turn by turn and it’s so much harder to get lost. Don’t get me wrong sometimes they glitch out, but for the most part they are pretty helpful. Mine even tells me when there is a speed trap, road construction, stalled cars, and warns me when I go over the speed limit. OK, that part is not helpful.

Dealing with hotels and airlines directly

There are so many web based services that allow us to book hotels, rent cars, and buy airline tickets. I remember when planning a trip took a few hours to organize travel and lodging for meets. Now I can do all three things in about 15 minutes. Sometimes it is not as easy as dealing directly with the hotel or airline, but it is quicker. I recently had to book 3 separate travel plans for one hotel stay because the online app had my days mixed up. It may be easier at times but I still contend that it’s better to talk to a real person.

Playlists

downloadI had Walkmans, Discmans, and even a boom box when I was younger. I could tote around the player and maybe 2-3 tapes or discs at a time. Today I have about 3000 songs on my tablet, and on my phone I have 2 services that play anything I want to hear, whenever I want to hear it.  I don’t have to carry around spare batteries (my boom box took 8 D cells) anymore and my selection is so much more accessible. Win for the music fans!

I haven’t mentioned anything that we haven’t all seen on about 50 online “Do You Remember When?” lists on Facebook, but it is sometime fun to think about. We take so many of the advances for granted, but our children can’t even take them for granted because they have no frame of reference. Yes, we now take sniffle medicine but we are also inundated with suggestions for our restless legs and dry eyes. I don’t remember the suffering of the dry eyed-shaky leg masses that forced those advances but I will give in and say that advances have definitely made life easier for all of us. I will also argue that there are a lot of “advances” that don’t help us live longer, they just make it seem longer.

02
May
17

Advice to the new Gymfinity parent

Way back many years ago, when the world found out that Steph and I were expecting our first baby, people stepped up to advise us. People who had kids and had already done the baby thing made themselves available for Steph and I who were feeling pretty anxious about being parents.  “Sleep when they sleep, sometimes let them cry, don’t give him potato chips…..J”, and other nuggets of advice really helped us out.  In that spirit, I wanted to offer some advice to parents that might be considering joining the program at Gymfinity.  I am a parent, and I get the parenting concerns. My kids have been in our program and in other sports too, I have seen the best and the worst of kids activity options. I am a coach too, I have answered many questions and concerns over the years, so I feel particularly qualified to offer a few “remembers” to you here. So here are 10 things you should know about your time at  Gymfinity.

  1. Remember that coaches are people too.

We work for you and we have goals and aspirations for your kids just like you do. We have knowledge of skill and a basic understanding of child psychology, but we are human. There will be times when we say something that may be misconstrued, but we are not mean people. We might forget to return a call, that doesn’t mean we don’t like you or your child. We might ask your child to work hard, that doesn’t mean we don’t understand that they are human too and sometimes get frustrated or tired.

  1. Remember that this is for your child’s development

Our program naturally provides skill and confidence, but we also have the goal of teaching kids to think. Analytically, like why do I lose balance when I wave my arms? Critically, like I know that I can do it but I want a mat under the beam too. And independently, like asking for consideration like a mat or permission to try a new and different skill. We want them to be able to not only do gymnastics but to understand gymnastics and how to think things through. Gymnastics is a great vehicle for understanding many broader concepts outside the skills they are taught.

  1. Remember that coaches very rarely bite

We know that some kids are shy, but we need them to communicate with us and share their fears, goals, and concerns. When we better understand your child, we can better serve them. Shy works for a 6-year-old, on an 8-year-old it can be tolerable, but after that we need kids to speak up for themselves. This is a goal for us, to have every child in our program be able to speak their mind.

  1. Remember that we really do like your kid

There will sometimes be occasions when we tell your child that they are doing something wrong. There will be times when they may be corrected and they feel like we picking on them when we make corrections. We are not. Once we get to know a kid we generally like them, that’s why we are in this business. Our job is to be critical and to make corrections, sometimes it may make your child feel deflated. Through correcting and applied effort, together, we will get your child to feel great about their outcome. It may take a while, and it will require patience on all sides.

  1. Remember that we are striving to surpass your expectations

Our staff is background checked, safety trained, and under constant supervision. Every one of us has a required amount of continuing training credits that we must fulfill each year to stay on staff. We travel to seminars, clinics, and conventions to learn to be the best we can. We bring in national and international trainers in our industry to teach us to be better teachers. We will never stop trying to be better than we are right now, but if we don’t live up to our reputation or your expectations we will gladly help you pack and move to another program.

  1. Remember that Gymnastics is not the world.

It’s close, but c’mon. In the end, it’s a game. It’s a sport that you play for as long as you can and you hope it leads to good things while having an amazing time. If your child struggles with a skill, or they have a rough performance it does not diminish their effort. The game has ups and downs, like life, and sometimes it makes us smile, sometimes it makes us cry. These are both OK. Don’t value your child on how well they compare to anyone else, nobody is like your child. They are wonderful, warts and all. Just know that they may be great at this. They may not.

  1. Remember that Gymnastics can be the world.

When your child is in a sport like gymnastics, it can feel like it’s everything to them. Some of our kids go on to do college gymnastics and some become coaches too. When I was a young gymnast it was how I identified myself. It was why I didn’t party in school. It was why I did my homework. It was what I wanted to do my whole life. If my mom would have told me when I was younger that it was not important, I think I would have been crushed, or in the least, resented her for saying it. Should they choose this sport, let them love it.

  1. Remember that you hired us to do this.

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    We’re here to help

You hired us to provide your child with something. Some want their kids to develop confidence, some want their kids to be more coordinated, some want their kids to make friends in a positive place with good fun and fit objectives. Let us do that for you. This is what we know. We’ve been in this business for many years (I started coaching before some of the parents that bring their kids here were born). You came in, saw the program, met us and tried us on. Be sure you let us do what you expected us to do. Sometimes it’s hard to let go, but trust us. It will be worth it.

  1. Yes, we know your child is special.

Every child has the right to feel special. But when we have a group of children in a class, we try to make every child feel loved and appreciated. No one is entitled to be special-er than anyone else. Part of the process of growing up is sometimes taking a backseat to someone else on occasion. Everyone will get their turn in the front seat. It’s OK. Re-read number 4.

  1. Remember that even honeymoons end.

When a child starts a new program, they usually have a great time for the first few weeks running on the novelty alone. The gym is great, the teacher is awesome, the class is their favorite thing ever! But then the novelty wears off. It’s still a great class but they may not seem as excited. This is pretty typical. There are stages to their involvement, the first is the honeymoon, and everything is amazing. The second can be a slow down, motivation is lessened and they seem to have lost a little interest. Kids may seem to lose some of the passion when they are getting ready to come to class, but they do fine once they’re here. This is a time when your encouragement and support is needed to deliver a little bump to get to Stage 3. The third phase is a renewed interest and an acceptance that this is THEIR class and they are now a part of a bigger program. They feel at home and their renewed efforts start to produce skills and smiles. It’s phases one and three when they are doing cartwheels all over the house. The only time cartwheels stop is phase 2 and when they leave for college (sometimes not even then).

It’s often a new experience and it takes some getting used to. But thankfully there are veterans around who can offer advice and guidance on this journey. Many of the parents of kids in your child’s class started out with questions too, it’s OK to talk to them. And, as always, feel free to ask us, we are always available for you.

21
Mar
17

So, you coach girls. Why?

 

Small talk at a party: “So you coach gymnastics. Boys or girls? Why?” I’ve been asked this about a hundred times, and everyone is surprised when I say “girls.” I think most people just think that a guy coaches boys and a woman will coach girls.  Not true.

So why do I  coach girls? I’ve tried coaching boys; it didn’t go well. I found that I spent more time watching wrestling and saying things like “I can wait until you are ready to listen….” Than I did actually coaching. It takes a special kind of a person to coach boys. I am not that special.

My standard answer when people ask “why girls” is that “girls listen better, pay attention more, and are usually smarter”. Then the universe graced me with two sons. So, I can’t use the “smarter” quip anymore, but the rest was pretty true.

I started thinking about why the difference was seemingly such a no-brainer to me but so hard to explain to others. As usual I ran the self-conversation during a long car trip and made frequent stops to jot notes. Then I did a little organizing research. Here’s what I came up with:

I was raised by my mom. I had a lot of respect for her and I aspire to be a parent like she was. She was confident, decisive, and strong. I realized that many of the girls that I coach have those attributes but often they don’t know it. So, on one hand, I think I want to help them develop those skills. Boys, it seems, are naturally confident, usually decisive (not right or wrong but decisive) and they usually show strength at an earlier age.  But why?

The best I can determine is that in terms of evolution males have always been more independent, had to show strength, and provide for the smaller weaker gender. Females were dependent, had to rely on the protectors and providers for survival, but today those traditional gender roles and attributes are in gray areas as women have become more independent and strong. when it comes to society we are slow to accept this and often the discrimination of our beliefs is unfounded. A big boat is slow to turn around, and this belief that woman are the weaker sex is a big boat of old fashioned thinking.

Developmentally, there is some science to this as well. As fetuses develop, female brains are bathed in estrogen as early as 8 weeks after conception and the hormone bath develops brain areas that will be suited to language, communication, and emotion. While male babies are flooded with testosterone, which develops areas of the brain that focus on aggression and more base needs. As children grow, society reinforces this with subtle prejudicial statements like “she’s so girly” meaning dainty and innocent, and “boys will be boys” which means boys will be rough, uncontrollable and dangerous.

Society tells girls that they need to make the tribe happy, provide harmony, and develop relationships. Meanwhile boys are taught to stand up for themselves, be assertive and challenge the world.

How gymnastics plays a part in development

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One of many reasons I am proud to coach girls, here’s me with Bri Slonim. 

Because females traditionally have been protected from risk they have not had the benefit of learning from their failures. I believe that this is where sports, particularly gymnastics, has a great developmental benefit. I think that girls can be shown that they can approach perfection, seek to surpass their own perceived potential, and encouraged to take risks. I believe that in so doing, children (not just girls) are given an opportunity to assess their efforts, learn from their skinned knees, and get back to their feet, try again, and grow stronger. Nothing is better than gymnastics at showing you that you did not do your homework. Our sport will let you know when you don’t work hard enough, and it will let you know in no-uncertain terms.

My mother, by virtue of divorce and strict Hungarian parents she had to learn that if she wanted something, she had to work for it. She never took breaks, and when she had 3 sons she knew she had to teach us those very lessons and values. I think that as a pre-parent younger coach starting in the industry,  I felt a strong sense of mission to share that lesson with children growing up. I think I gravitated toward coaching girls because they seemed more eager to learn from me. Boys, at least by the impression they try to give off, already knew everything.

Now I have sons and I get to see behind the veil of masculinity that though boys may show bravado, inside they are still pretty insecure and squishy. I think that too is evolutionary. I know that if I had to coach boys again,  I would see it from a different perspective. I have learned that boys tend to overestimate their skills, while girls tend to underestimate themselves. I have always fought for the underdog, and maybe it’s the “Yes, you can do it”-ness of coaching girls that fulfills me.

I have written before about confidence and how we can help children develop it. I feel as strongly about independence and being self-secure*

Sports show us there are winners and learners and that we will not always be on the top of the podium at every meet. I cannot stand the meets and games that handout awards to every child. It doesn’t allow a child to assess any plan for success. It doesn’t validate their real effort, and it doesn’t imitate life at all.

So, I like coaching girls. I think I understand why, maybe I can’t explain it in a short 3o second chat, but I know that I can help make a difference. I believe that I should help to turn the boat and do my share to help the world see that women are just as strong, just as smart, just as assertive, just as capable, and just as good and anyone could ever ask. I think I owe that to my mom, who truly showed it to me.

 

 

*I hate the term “self-esteem” because it’s such a cliche. It has come to mean an entitled attitude of loving one’s self and feeling good. I use the term “self-secure” on purpose because it indicates a feeling of, though sometimes we may get frustrated with ourselves in action and habit, that we are comfortable knowing that we are good and functional in a positive way. It think it’s a healthy perspective on our self-image as opposed to a glossy “everything about me is great” feeling, that is a lie, at best.

 

 

07
Mar
17

Shamrocks are not lucky (for your diet)

 A while ago, my team kids asked me if I had a Shamrock Shake yet this year. I explained that I read that the shakes at that establishment contain a chemical that is also found in leather softener and so, I don’t think I’ll be indulging in a minty green shake this year, unless I make it.  ( not to mention that many shake recipes contain a chemical called  Castoreum provides added sweetness, but it comes from the anal gland of a beaver. No kidding)

I wasn’t wrong. Much of the food at fast food establishments is laced with the least likely (and least explicable) of ingredients. But so are many other foods we frequently consume.

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McDonalds fries vs KFC fries after 3 years.

Did you know that a fast food burger will remain unchanged for approximately 14 years if left uneaten? There is such a low content of water and natural ingredients that the “real beef” burger doesn’t even spoil.  Oddly enough the French Fries at most fast food establishments are also resistant to age. They usually rot out in about 3 years, but you have to ask; if bacteria won’t eat away this “food” why would I?

Did you know that due to the high levels of High Fructose Corn Syrup the soda we drink at fast food places will damage our stomach walls, debilitate our vital organs, and strip our teeth of enamel? In fact it may be safer you nuzzle up to and eat straight an entire bowl of sugar rather than suffer the consequences of the substitute. HFCS also keeps us from quenching a thirst, that’s why we can finish off that “Thirsty-Two” ounce pop and still be…. Well… thirsty.  But it does satisfy our consumer bone. We feel that there is value in being able to refill a drink for free, when in truth, that might be the worst thing you can do.

And don’t get me started on the dispensers. Most places that have “serve yourself” dispensers have been found to have trace levels of fecal e.coli evident on their surfaces. That means that most places have nozzles touched by people who don’t clean their hands after using the toilet. Mmmm. Still thirsty?

Did you know that breakfast is just as bad as a shake? We have, in the past, often traveled to meets and had to resort to a quick grab and go breakfast at a fast food stop. But we hardly will ever do that again since we found that most places substitute eggs with something called Premium Egg Blend, a chemical mixture that has many of the same ingredients as my soap and shower gel, namely glycerin. Though eating glycerin won’t kill me, it’s good to know that if I’m really late, I can eat half my breakfast and shave with the other half.

Did you know that when you eat beef from a fast food place, or even a large chain family dining restaurant, that you are likely filling up on ground up bits of over 100 different cows? Usually the less choice cuts are ground and combined with fat and chemicals, then shaped into patties and sent off.  I have had friends tell me that they would rather eat at this fast food place than that place because at least this place uses “real” beef. It may be real, but it’s not any more appealing when you know the process.

Did you know that in Wisconsin, we have access to real cheese? Unfortunately, you won’t find it on you McBurger or Whopper. Fast food cheese is less than half dairy product and mostly oil, chemical and preservative. I recently went to visit a gymnast that graduated into college and we went to eat. When my food came out I looked at the cheese and asked “what is that?” We here are pretty spoiled by having access to real cheese, when the rest of the country has to eat that mystery orange square they call cheese. But don’t be fooled, it’s still mystery square at the corner fast food place.

Did you know that we are tricked into eating sand when we order spicy fast food? It’s true, most fast food chili’s or Tex-Mex menus use and ingredient called silicon dioxide in their recipes. It makes the taco or chicken nugget taste a little peppery and manufacturers don’t have to use as much real food, higher cost, ingredients. Now, I’ve gotten sand in my mouth before, but never once did I think “mmm. Chalupa!”

Ok, I’m grossing myself out, and probably you too. So here are a few more remaining thoughts to leave you with:

Did you know that most fast food chicken nuggets are not chicken but comprised of fats, bone, nerves and “additional tissue”.

Did you know that fast food salads are usually laced with saturated fats and high levels of sodium. The intention is not to offer a healthy option, it’s to make to thirsty enough to order the free-refill-extra-large soda.”

Did you know that much of fast food is laced with coloring and dyes that have been shown to change behavior in children. Kids frequently exposed to these chemical colors often become irritable, hyperactive, and bad-tempered.

Did you know that the caloric intake from one small meal provides us the equivalent of what we would burn on a 4 hour hike. So to maintain a healthy balance or intake and output, remember to allow for 4 hours of activity following the consumption of a small burger, small fries, and a small pop.

Did you know that honestly, I have been no stranger to the ordering queue at fast food places. I grew up on McDonalds, Burger King, Arby’s, and others. But as I grew and became educated I have made more informed decisions. I am a firm believer in the philosophy of moderation. I don’t eat fast food 6 times a week anymore, maybe once every other week. But I stay away from the pop, the chicken nuggets, and the shakes.

So, no on the shamrock shake this year. But I did find this yummy, healthy, natural substitute that I made at home. I plan on bringing it to the team and fooling them into loving spinach shakes. If you are interested in the outcome of my switcheroo, comment below.




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